It’s not unusual for a relationship to dangle on a fishing line. If you’re anything like me your swimming technique sucks, but it’s enough to keep your head above water. That’s how I feel about dating. The universal nuisance for most single women is the constant reminder of being single during Valentine’s season. It’s advertised everywhere. If a relationship is dangling on the hook for you don’t bite just because you see the bait, or because the world advises you to take whatever bait you can get. My advice, make sure it’s Kosher first, then bite and don’t buy into the Hollywood hype.
The fantasies Hollywood sowed in my head as a young woman compared to what was reaped when I started dating, are opposite movies. I wanted fate to make my soul mate decisions. Valentine’s Day was to be celebrated with big love gestures. I knew that romance would never fade or be questioned. That’s not how life works. I have a certain gesture for Hollywood right now, and it starts between my index and ring fingers, smiley face. Nothing in the dating world occurs as seen on T.V. There are occasional exceptions, but be realistic. I’ll share a personal story as an example:
I was dating a guy for six months. On Valentine’s Day I decided to play Bob Marley. I decorated my apartment with a Caribbean theme. I had inflatable palm trees, totem poles, and a blanket by roaring fire. I cooked black beans and rice, jerk salmon, and made tropical adult beverages in wine classes. I wore a grass skirt, and put in my best extensions. It was the perfect set up. He was the man in my life and right on time! We had a great night. Although, he let me know that no one had ever done anything like this for him in the past. Unfortunately, he broke up with me two weeks later. I gave him Hollywood, and he moved on. I asked him why, his response was because he wasn’t ready for a relationship and Valentine’s day proved it. By the way, he bought me a waffle maker as a gift and took me to a concert for an artist I told him I didn’t like three months before he bought the tickets. I saw something new about him on Valentine’s Day, too.
Therefore, before you go on your rant about being single and wanting all those wonderful things we watched in the movies, understand, the real world isn’t always accepting of your romantic gestures. So, tell your friends to stop setting you up with the single men she wouldn’t date. Tell your mom and grandmother you will have kids when you decide and you will not be alone forever. Make a status on Facebook or twitter and congratulate all the love you see on your mini feed. Being happy for others is healthy, jealousy is not. Don’t get wrapped up in “single psychosis” before Valentine’s Day. Don’t let the commercials, and stores convince you that you need someone to buy you things. Don’t let tweets and statuses convince you that the couple is happier than you. Having a relationship on Valentine’s Day is just having another person in the room with you. Find a good friend to hang out with and do the same thing as a free, fun loving single woman. Muah!
Rese Hawkins is a resident contributor to Ruby Leonne. To contact Rese, email her at rubyleonneauthors (at) gmail (dot) com.